Do you ever have extremely frustrating moments that you choose to sweep under the rug? We all do. Sometimes this is our way of saying that we just don’t want to deal with conflict. Eventually, we face a similar situation and resolve to the same action. This time though, the moment of conflict might involve our spouse, child or co-worker. When conflict becomes a battle between us and someone else, if left unresolved, there will always be continuous difficulty. Perhaps there are more appropriate ways to resolve such moments.
Resolving conflict inappropriately when others are involved can cause us to experience double dosed feelings of anger, frustration and even fear. It is common in such situations that people, including ourselves simply REACT to a situation instead of ACTing.1 When a conflict or situation is so strong that we let it control us, there will be a reaction. When others are involved, assumptions on our part often cause reactions as well. There are many good ways of creating conflict resolution; however, if we are going to act, we must first be willing to listen before making hasty decisions based on assumption.
It is certainly ok to express our feelings as long as approached with both a listening ear first and while expressing ourselves, a willingness to be respectful of the other persons feelings. Simple, safe and mature ways of communicating allow the other person a chance to communicate effectively. In doing so, others can have a fair chance of understanding our position; furthermore, being given the chance to ACT and work with us, leading to a better chance for a fair resolution.
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification(Romans 14:19).
© Andy L. Westbrook, Westbrook Publishing, Ink., 2008
1Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud. Published by Zondervan, 1993
